Our Night
by K.E. Strokez
Summary: Stef & Lena earn a night out. Features all of the Gaydy Bunch. Very fluffy tale. So much Fluff that it should probably be listed as one of the characters. Also, mature themes.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I randomly typed this out before I went to sleep. I intend to add to the story. It might end up being a "feature-length" thing or a series of one-shots. I'm new to written romance, so bear with me. Also, might contain mature themes.**

 **Edited some stuff. Same story, better spelling.**

* * *

 **Chapter One**

Her wife stood at the bottom of the steps and looked at her watch for the umpteenth time that night. Stefanie Adams Foster hated being late for things. She hated tardiness so much that she had got home early, tried to help Jude with his homework, planted pizza money in a strategic enough location for the rest of the kids to find and was dressed before Lena had got into her car to drive home from work.

They had made the reservation almost two weeks earlier, and promised each other that only an earthquake strong enough to total the restaurant would keep them from going there.

But Lena had other things in mind, namely a quick peck on the cheek when she got home, and an insistence that she should be left alone to get ready for their night out.

Stef hated thinking she would be late almost as much as actually being late.

"HURRY UP, WOMAN!" She almost shouted up the steps. Someone was walking about. A good sign.

The police officer turned around when the door opened behind her. Jesus left it open for Brandon, who was right behind him. Both boys had things over their shoulders.

Jesus' gym bag – which she was sure she could smell from where she stood – was as characteristic as Brandon's guitar.

Stef heard footsteps behind her and turned. "Finally, now let's get-"

Mariana sauntered down with a towel wrapped around her head. She paused when she was half way down and shot her mother a puzzled look.

"Sorry. Thought you were Mama."

"Gross," the girl rolled her eyes "so all brown women with towels on their heads look the same to you?"

"Mariana," Stef argued back, as her daughter laughed and walked down the rest of the way.

"Just kidding Mom," the short girl smiled, then busied herself with arguing with Jesus about something.

Stef tried to peer under the towel wrapped around her daughter's head. If she caught a glimpse of blonde hair she'd-

Something Mariana had said finally registered.

" _...so all brown women with towels on their heads look the same to you?"_

"LENA!" The blonde woman screamed "YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T WASH YOUR HAIR!"

"Too late!" Someone shouted back.

Stef rose to the first floor, two steps at a time. Her bedroom door slammed shut half a second later and the lock clicked a moment after that. The blonde thudded against the wooden barrier. She had been too slow.

Lena's laugh sounded from the other side.

"We'll be late!" Stef mewled.

"No we won't," Lena replied as the hair-dryer hummed to life.

"We will!"

"We won't," the Vice-Principal defended "go shoot some hoops or something."

"Let me in."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because."

"LENA!"

"Stef?"

She gave up. The police officer slumped to the floor with her back against the door.

"So how was your day?" Her wife asked as she busied herself with whatever it was she was doing.

"I'm not telling you."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Very funny, Stefanie."

Lena's work-voice drew Stef to her like a magnet. As if on instinct, the blonde woman pressed her ear against the door and purred.

"Say that again, Ma'am."

"Naughty girl. The kids might be listening."

"We got that lock to keep the kids out, remember?"

Lena laughed. The memory of Jesus walking in on them had stopped being embarrassing – for her and Stef, at least – and had become uproariously funny.

* * *

" _Right there," Lena had gasped as her wife licked her neck._

" _You like that? How about..."_

" _YES!"_

 _The curly-haired woman had been straddling the blonde. She wore jeans and nothing above the waist. Stef had a way of turning her wife topless whenever anything started between them. And she was on form that night._

" _They call this a clavicle," the police officer had whispered as she licked it._

" _Oh GOD Stef," Lena had gasped once more as the arms around her pulled her closer._

 _She grabbed the strong woman's hands and re-positioned them. She was topless, after all. Might as well put those hands to good use._

" _Well hello girls," Stef had whisper-laughed._

 _Her wife's nipples were harder than her service pistol's barrel. And they would be delicious when she tasted them...eventually. Lena would have to earn every licked inch that night._

 _Stef's tongue circled one particular spot close to her wife's neck and it was enough to cause Lena's hands to rise from her back to her blonde locks._

" _Stefffff," the beautiful woman had breathed._

 _And then the door had swung open._

" _Hey Moms, Emma said-"_

 _The boy stood in the doorway in his pajamas. There was silence for a moment. And then he had screamed._

* * *

" _Good thing Stef was wearing clothes,"_ Lena laughed to herself as she looked at the earrings she had picked out _"and good thing my hair pretty much covers my back or he'd have seen..."_

She paused to wonder. Jesus had seen her in a backless dress AND in swim-wear. He knew what her back looked like. But he didn't know what Stef's hands looked like when they were oh-so-erotically cupping her breasts. Her hair had enough volume to hide that from him.

"You're thinking, aren't you?"

"I am," the curly-haired woman sighed "you know me so damn well, Mrs. Adams Foster."

"Language, please."

"Gross, Mom. Are you guys bent on scarring me for life?" Jesus complained as he lingered at the top of the steps.

"You should have knocked," both women chorused from each side of the bedroom door.

"You don't have to keep telling me that," the boy complained, as Jude walked out of their shared bedroom and walked up to him.

"See? He probably overheard you guys too!"

"You've lived here longer than I have," the smaller boy stated "don't you know the signs yet?"

"What signs?" Stef and Jesus both asked, almost in unison.

He shrugged and attempted to walk past his brother. It didn't work.

"What signs?" Jesus repeated.

Jude couldn't run past him or they'd end up falling down the steps. And he couldn't turn round and run back to the room or the athletic woman would get him before he even saw the door.

"I'll be bad cop," Stef volunteered.

"No fair, Mom! I wanna be bad cop!" Jesus complained.

The moment he raised his arms to make his insistence, Jude saw an opening and went for it.

The boy squirmed round his older brother, surprisingly found his footing on the second-highest step, and descended to the ground floor at great haste. Callie walked through the front door, and he ducked behind her.

"Whoa," the family wrestler remarked as Stef burst out laughing.

Mariana and Brandon traded looks.

"You still can't tell," was their consensus a few moments later.

"Can't tell what?" Callie asked.

"Nothing," Brandon replied. His glare didn't work on Mariana.

"We each have fifty bucks riding on whether Jude turns out to be a jock."

"You SUCK, Mariana!" Brandon howled.

If Jude knew what their bet was, he could fix the outcome. And she had just blurted it out in front of him like a...like a...Mariana.

"LANGUAGE!" Stef shouted from her sentry point on the floor outside her room.

Jesus came down the steps and declared his willingness to join the bet.

"He either will be or he won't, you idiot," Mariana rolled her eyes "it can only go two ways."

"No fair," her twin refused "what if he becomes a jock then quits?"

"Or becomes a jock when he's waaaaaay old," Callie agreed.

"He'd still be a jock," the girl with a towel wrapped round her head sighed "don't you guys know what boolean logic is?"

Stef listened to their new-fangled techno-thingummy conversations for a while longer, before something seemed to shift on the other side of the door.

It was the sound of cloth brushing against wood. She could almost feel the body pressed against the barrier.

"And now you're sitting on the floor too," the police officer sighed.

"Stefanie Marie Adams Foster," her wife sighed back "can you hear that?"

"Lena Elizabeth Adams Foster," the other wife replied "you mean that smirking and twerking going on downstairs? I bet everyone this side of the equator can."

The woman in the room laughed. "That's not what I meant."

"Then you'll have to be specific, dear," Stef put on her best little-old-lady impersonation "this old brain ain't what it used to be."

"I mean..." Lena shut her eyes "over a decade ago, on this very day...we met. For the first time. Can you imagine how amazing it's been since that first handshake?"

A tear rolled down the police officer's cheek. She hadn't thought Lena would remember. But then again...how could either one of them forget?

"Wait downstairs for me," her wife requested "I'll be down in five minutes."

"Bring an overnight bag," Stef answered a moment later "all I need is my toothbrush."

"Are you-?"

"We don't have to come home after dinner," Stef replied "and we will NOT want Jesus walking in on us tonight."

" _GROSS!"_ The boy complained from the top of the steps. He descended right after that.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Please review what I've written so far. It'll help me grow and stuff.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: So the Gaydy Bunch are back again. This one probably doesn't have mature content, but I'll let you decide.**

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

Mariana stopped complaining about how heavy the camera was and aimed it right for the foot of the steps. This was it: no rehearsal, no choreography and no lens cap. She'd checked.

"I can't believe people could use these things indoors without accidentally bludgeoning each other to death," the small girl let loose her final complaint.

* * *

 _Jesus had stumbled upon a really old school calendar when he was looking for his skateboard. How it got into the dining room, he'd never know. It had Brandon's first day at Anchor Beach circled, along with another date a few weeks earlier. He may have had ADHD, but he'd figured it out on his own._

 _Callie and Jude had been briefed about the significance of the date. They'd already witnessed their Moms getting married. The women had probably thought the kids had had enough adult mush that year._

* * *

Stef was in the guest bathroom checking herself out in the mirror.

"Looking GOOD, Mama Tiger," she told herself for the third time. The mirror was a distraction from looking at her watch, or out of the window.

She was pretty sure the sun had set.

"Uh...are you okay in there?" Callie asked as she tapped gently on the door.

"Go see if Lena's-"

A memory shot to the front of her brain.

* * *

" _Lena. Lena..."_

 _Her back had been pushed against the wall. The wall where stood the mirror she had gazed into a myriad of times. And her fiance's hands had unbuttoned her shirt._

" _What're you doing! Lena, what're you-?!"_

 _A hand had pressed against her gunshot wound._

" _I'm making my peace with it," the gorgeous vision before her had stated "if I'm gonna marry you I'm gonna marry all of you. The scar, the bullet and the cop."_

* * *

Stef opened the bathroom door and found Callie in the narrow hallway. The girl shifted uncomfortably on her feet and decided to walk away.

"Oh my god, you look amazing!" Brandon remarked.

"I've been dressed like this for over an hour."

"You've...changed something, right? Some kinda makeup trick or...I dunno what I'm saying."

"Stick to music, B," she kissed her son's cheek and strode to the bottom of the steps.

"Are you sure you haven't changed anything?" Jude tilted his head as he looked at her.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"You're like _sooo_ glowing, Mom," Mariana giggled "how romantic."

"Shut _up_ , Mariana la virgen," Jesus scoffed from the other room.

"GOD! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

The small girl placed the camera on the table and marched up to her twin, who pulled Jude towards him and stood right behind the smaller boy.

Mariana stopped in her tracks. Callie and Brandon waited to see what would happen next.

"You wouldn't hurt a Judicorn, would you?"

"You're still tall enough to leave your head and shoulders exposed."

"HEY!" The youngest person in the house complained. "PUT ME DOWN!"

Jesus had seized him by the arm pits and lifted him high enough to block his exposed parts.

"You could have just _ducked_ , you know," Stef, Callie and Brandon chorused.

"What a meat-head," Mariana rolled her eyes "I'm not even gonna retaliate. Your existence is self-punishment enough."

"Put him down now," Callie commanded Jesus.

"Make me."

"He's achieved a lot, you guys," Brandon informed the gathering "like being most improved in the wrestling team when he's _extremely ticklish_."

"No fair, dude!" The wrestler shouted as Callie and Mariana attacked his exposed flanks.

Jude was duly dropped, but was caught up in the writhing tickle-attack and decided to join in.

"AAAAAAARGH!" Jesus screamed.

Stef was reminded of a zombie horde attacking a...

She turned as if on instinct and looked at the top of the steps. The screaming behind her got louder but all she could hear was-

"Hi."

Lena Adams Foster was dressed in black. Her dress was form-fitting yet conservative: if conservative dresses permitted single shoulders. Her right shoulder was exposed, even though the dress covered the rest of her body from the collarbones down. A tasteful slit was cut high enough to expose her left calf.

Her long, curly hair was worn down and thrown fashionably over her clothed shoulder.

"AAAAAAARGH!" The teenage boy screamed at an even higher pitch as the lady gracefully descended the steps.

Stef was stood at the same spot with her eyes wide open. Her pupils followed her wife as she came closer, and her hand reached out to help her onto the ground floor. Something rushed through both of their bodies the moment their hands touched.

"How about we skip dinner?" Stef croaked.

"Shut up," Lena replied as she wrapped her arms around her wife and kissed her.

"AAAAAAARGH! I'M GONNA PEE!"

The horde jumped away to leave the teenager heaving on the floor with tears in his eyes. And then he looked up.

"For crying out loud, MOMS!"

They went on kissing. Lena's clutch purse was behind Stef's head. She would have dropped it if someone hadn't cleared their throat.

The embarrassed couple looked away from each other. Their brood fidgeted awkwardly where they stood – and lay – before someone eventually piped up.

"There's pizza money on the counter." Jude came to the rescue.

Jesus shot to his feet and started an argument with Mariana about which flavor they wanted.

"WILL SOMEONE OPEN THE FRONT DOOR!"

Stef's bellow was enough to snap them all to attention. Callie complied, as the twins looked puzzled at their mothers.

"Whoa!"

Stef bent her knees slightly and swept her wife off her feet.

"You're gonna drop me!" Lena complained.

"I ain't letting go of you, young lady," her wife's reply was laced with mischief as she began to walk.

"On second thought, you should worry about me losing my balance."

"STEF! We're gonna fall!"

"What? It wouldn't be the first time Jesus has seen you on top of me."

"GROSS!" He yelled once more that day.

"Hey Mom? Where's your car keys?" Brandon asked.

"On the counter. Good catch, kiddo."

He ran ahead of them.

Stef exited the front door and made her way to the car. The oldest kid had opened the car door and waited for them to figure out who would drive.

Lena would, by the looks of things.

"Are you gonna stare at me all the way to the restaurant?"

"Good thing I'm not behind the wheel, huh?"

She started up the engine.

"Wait: where's the overnight bag?"

"We'll pick up toothbrushes on our way to the hotel," the Vice Principal shrugged "now stop worrying or we'll be late."

"NOW you think of that," Stef rolled her eyes.

 _SMASH!_

The car had moved about ten yards when something came rushing across their field of view. Good thing one of them had her eyes on the road or things would have been much worse.

The motorcycle didn't come to a halt until it had smashed into the fire hydrant. Its would-be rider sprinted up to the scene a few moments later.

"Can I arrest him on your behalf?" Lena growled.

"You stay in the car. I have a hunch he's going to run," Stef remarked as she stepped out of the vehicle.

She wasn't wearing high heels, but she was dressed to go out. Her hair was tied stylishly back and her long blue dress would have to be rolled up if she was going to have more mobility. Something about her still screamed "po po", though. The panting owner of the fugitive motorcycle took one look at her and broke into a sprint.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Stef shouted as she took off after him. "STOP!"

 _POP!_

Something flew over her shoulder and connected with the back of the man's head. He fell as that thing bounced off him and was launched high into the air. It finally settled on the ground a few feet away, after hopping off the asphalt a couple of times.

"What in the hell?" Stef gasped as Lena strode angrily up to the scene and picked her slightly-damaged high heel off the ground.

"I called Mike," the policewoman's wife informed her as she towered over the writhing man.

Even though they left the house an hour early, they got to the restaurant forty-five minutes late.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Please review. I should also mention that I'm a newcomer to (writing) humor as well as romance. Any pointers on how to improve things would be great.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: This one's mostly a flashback. Also, for those who might be wondering, the entire story will be based some time in Seasons 1 and 2. I'm not sticking to canon sequences of events, especially when it comes to the kids dating and stuff. Sorry if it's confusing, but it is what it is.**

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

"I can't believe we're doing this," Lena sighed as the car came to a halt in the parking lot.

"On the plus side, the parking lot's almost empty."

The curly-haired woman looked at her wife and raised an eyebrow.

"We have to go indoors, Stef."

"That's not what I meant at all, you naughty girl," the policewoman slapped her wife's thigh and shook her head.

Lena paused for a moment and then exhaled, shut her eyes and cringed.

"It was ONE TIME."

"Uh huh," Stef rolled her eyes – Mariana was rubbing off on her in the strangest of ways – and laughed.

* * *

 _Despite her incredible fashion sense, Lena hated the mall. She hated shopping in general, and would have given up the great suburban consumerist American pastime if Stef hadn't subjected her to a lecture on how online shopping was anti-social._

 _Besides, there was something about lingerie that required a buyer's physical presence in the shop one bought it from. She wouldn't trust e-commerce with her naughty delicates. Especially when she was buying them as a surprise for her girlfriend and browsers did nasty things when it came to storing visited pages._

" _It's what I get for dating a cop," Lena had thought to herself. Stef may not have been a 'new-fangled techno-thingummy appy-nappy' enthusiast, but she had stumbled upon several of Lena's more...intimate browsing records...almost every time she turned on their laptop._

 _The Vice Principal had been embarrassed at first, then they had turned it into a subtle little game. Lena would look at – or read – something naughty, and Stef would discover it. Then the blonde would do the same thing, and Lena would discover that._

 _Mariana had tagged along. Her daughter had probably smelled her Mama's intention to go to the mall from a mile away, and insisted that she should be included. At least she'd taken Lexi with her._

" _Why're you ditching us, Mama?" Mariana had complained when they walked into the front lobby "You ashamed to be seen with us or something?"_

 _Lena had pondered the irony of the statement. Wasn't it supposed to be the other way round? Teens fleeing from parents when they were in public?_

" _First off, I'm NOT ditching you," the woman had replied "and next off: you and Lexi need to catch up. We can still do lunch, if you'd like."_

" _As long as you don't make us eat salads," her daughter had warned._

" _They're good for you!" Lena had argued. "And they're delicious! Just because we're in a mall doesn't mean we have to eat processed...you know what? Never mind. Enjoy yourselves, ladies."_

 _She had walked off. The lingerie store was on the third floor. In fact, it WAS the third floor. She could have taken an elevator, but she didn't want to seem too obvious._

 _The girls had watched her leave._

" _Your Mama's like the only adult I'd ever wanna be seen in public with," Lexi had admitted for the umpteenth time._

" _Aren't 'yow mama' jokes supposed to be insulting?" Mariana had countered as she rummaged through her bag. "Now put this on."_

" _Why do we need hats?" Her friend had asked, and then she had remembered why._

 _Lexi might have said that she was over Jesus, but seeing him (almost) with another girl had got to her. She had asked for Mariana's blessing (a lesson had been learned there) and they had officially launched "Operation Rescate Ni_ _ñ_ _o"._

 _Mariana had picked the name, to make it sound less kinky. They weren't sure if the Spanish was correct either, but it was the thought that counted._

 _The rest of the plan was simple. Someone at school had been making fake IDs. Lexi had bought two of them. But they weren't interested in getting into bars. Not yet, anyway._

 _Emma was Lexi's competition. The girl who played with boys. Lexi would have to one-up her, by playing a more interesting game of her own with Jesus. One that involved some serious lingerie._

 _Lena had strolled through the aisles of the massive store and wondered where to begin. An attendant seemed to linger a few feet away from her at all times. It would have been offensive, if her mind wasn't occupied with something else._

 _The first time Stef had rendered her topless. She always blushed at the thought of that._

" _Do you have this in black?" Lena had finally asked the lingering attendant. It was getting awkward._

" _I'm afraid not. The only ones left in black are the floral patterned lace ones."_

 _Lena had squinted. Floral patterns weren't what she was looking for. She wanted to be the tigress to her Mama Tiger, without having to resort to animal prints._

" _Have you tried corsets? Your um...boyfriend...would love you in one."_

 _Lena had seen the brief look of disapproval when the younger woman had looked at her left hand. And then she had shot back another look of disapproval for the judgment she was receiving._

" _Boyfriend indeed," she had huffed._

 _She had been led to the corsets anyway._

 _Mariana and Lexi had strolled confidently round the aisle at almost the same moment. They had spotted the familiar curly brown mane and made a quick exit from the store._

" _GROSS!" Mariana had cringed as they strode away. "Ew, ew, ew, ew, GROSS!"_

" _What would your Mama want with lingerie anyway?" Lexi had asked to try and recover from what they had just seen "She's HOT."_

 _The short girl had stopped in her tracks and stared right at her friend._

" _Is Jesus the real reason why you came back?"_

" _Oh my GOD," her best friend had gasped "your Mama turned your Mom gay. Even YOU oughta know how hot she is."_

" _First off: Mom was gay WAY before she even met Mama. And second off: EW!"_

" _I don't think I can have lunch with her. Not after I've pictured her in a corset," Lexi admitted._

" _Oh my GOD! Is sex the only thing you have on your mind? You and Jesus belong together. N-uh," Mariana walked off._

 _Lexi had followed close behind._

" _Where are you going?"_

" _After what we just saw? I need a drink."_

 _They might as well put those fake IDs to good use._

" _But that's a supermarket," her best friend had remarked a few moments later when they were on the first floor._

" _So we can buy a bottle of liquor, mix it with sodas or juice or whatever, and drink in the parking lot."_

" _Let it never be said that you're not smart, Mariana."_

 _In their enthusiasm, they had forgotten to cancel their lunch date with Mama._

 _Lena had assumed they'd still meet at the food court, but she felt rather exposed walking around with the stuff she had just bought from the third floor. Even though the plain black paper bags pretty much hid everything. She would drop them off in the car then treat the girls to some of that sodium-rich over-processed junk food they were so crazy about._

 _But as soon as she had stepped into the parking lot, she realized something._

" _Hi, Mariana?" Lena had asked when she had called. "Where did I park the car?"_

* * *

"It happens to _EVERYONE_ , Stef."

"Never happened to _me_ ," the blonde replied "touch wood."

"You're actually supposed to touch something wooden when you say that."

Stef smirked.

"I can think of two dark mahogany peaks that I'd love to meet the conditions of that superstition with, but I might be charged with assault."

"You're an _evil woman_ ," Lena gasped as she folded her arms over her chest. It wasn't freezing out, but she should have brought a jacket of some sort.

" _Now I know why they call it 'nippy',"_ she thought to herself.

Stef was still staring. A siren blared in the distance and got louder as it approached. Both women sighed.

"Speaking of charges," Lena sighed.

They walked out of the vehicle and into the police station.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: So...Io non son Americano. I dunno how y'alls police stations work, and I ain't never been state-side, so...bear with the possible inaccuracies of this chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

"Adams Foster, is that you?" The desk sergeant said in complete surprise.

"Take your jaw off the floor, Torres," Stef replied "it's unsanitary."

Lena felt the sudden urge to mark her territory. Not by urinating, of course, but by spinning her wife around and planting the most tongue-filled, inappropriate kiss on the woman's lips until the SWAT team had to pull them apart.

And then she wondered if the San Diego Police Department had a SWAT team.

"You know the Police Ball isn't for another couple months, right?" Torres joked, as several other officers began to whistle and clap at the sight of their comrade in a dress.

"Knock it off, you clowns," Stef growled at them, as Mike bundled a wriggling middle-aged man in behind her.

"What've we got here?"

"Reckless endangerment," Mike panted "won't give us a name. No way to I.D him either."

"I want my phone call!" The suspect bleated.

Stef led Lena away from the scene and had her wife sit down. They couldn't record their statement while the guy was right in front of them.

"HEY!" The man suddenly yelled as he caught sight of Lena's mane "HEY! ARREST THAT BITCH!"

"LANGUAGE!" Half the floor of police officers suddenly chorused.

" _Good to see you've had an influence on your co-workers,"_ Lena whispered as she ignored the man and sat down.

She dealt with petulant teenagers every day. One more spoiled brat wouldn't rattle her, no matter how old he was.

"Just out of curiosity," Mike asked the man as he, Torres and one other police officer struggled to keep him calm "what do you want her arrested for?"

"JUST DO IT, YOU MORONS!"

"You don't wanna make me angry, sir," Torres advised the man.

Lena was surprised that no one else had lost their temper. She had half a mind to ask every uniformed officer she met from then onwards if they meditated.

"Yeah?" The man taunted the officer "Or what?"

"Or you'll find it real hard to make your phone call with a broken jaw."

He relaxed as reason gradually seeped into him. He was already in a bad situation. Might as well not make it worse.

But he still had his pride to protect.

"Thank you for cooperating," Torres said to the man "now, please state your name and address for the book."

"So you can charge me? Ha," the man spat "I ain't stupid."

"Will someone check this guy's brain before I send him to the infirmary in worse condition than he's already in?"

"I still can't believe we're doing this," Lena sighed as Stef handed her a plastic cup of water.

"It's a slow night," the blonde replied as she sat next to her "sooner we get this over with, the better."

"Amen to that," Mike replied as he stepped up to them.

"Sorry to drag you out on your night off."

"Nah," he shrugged "to be honest, I was pretty bored. The kids were really impressed, though. Fire department's fixed the busted hydrant, by the way."

"At least _someone's_ lawns got watered tonight," Stef sighed, and Lena wondered if that was a double-entente.

Torres came back and waved them over.

"Here goes," Lena sighed.

* * *

They had just finished recording their statements when they were finally cleared to leave. The ladies – and Mike – were literally one step away from the front door when the universe reminded them that it wasn't done for the day.

"I'm sorry, guys," Torres walked up to them with five other officers in tow.

"What's going on?"

"The suspect has given us enough to bring a charge of assault."

"Are you kidding me?" Stef gasped.

"He's being examined in the infirmary right now. Until the docs give us the results, you can't leave the station, Mrs. Adams Foster."

"Which one?" Mike asked him in irritation.

"Oh, sorry. Mrs _Lena_ Adams Foster."

* * *

"You guys!" Mariana jumped into the living room with a slice of pizza in her hand.

Her arch-nemesis, the television, refused to relax its grip on the rest of the gathering.

"YOU GUYS!" The short girl crowed again as she stepped in front of the watchers.

"Get out the way, Mariana!" Jesus complained, and would have thrown his pizza slice at her if it wasn't so delicious.

"Look at your twitter feeds. Now."

Brandon whipped his phone out and did as asked.

"Suburbia got talent," he read aloud to the rest of the room "trying 2 find women in video. Fame awaits. hashtag crazybiker, hashtag wtf, hashtag amazingaim."

They listened to the audio for half a second then crowded round him an instant later.

"Oh...my...GOD!"

"Call them! Call them NOW!"

They shivered and oh-my-godded while the cell phone rang...and rang...and rang...until finally-

"Hello? Real housewives of San Diego?"

* * *

 _I tell a tale of minutes gone by when the world was calm and the moon was high._

 _When rode a knight of righteous...um...need?_

 _Through a land of watered lawns on his trusty steed._

 _When a carriage did fling itself at him,_

 _And Sir Rider did fall, but was not injured_

 _And from that carriage emerged some witches,_

 _And much did Sir Rider thence endure._

 _For they did slay his noble steed,_

 _And attack him with their claw'd feet._

* * *

"He got his phone call," Mike informed Stef as she paced nervously before her desk "are you sure we shouldn't call the kids?"

"What're they gonna do? Bail her out?" Stef asked him yet again.

He backed off with his arms raised in surrender.

"You want some coffee?"

"My wife just got arrested and they won't let me see her. Do I LOOK like I wanna have coffee to you?"

"Hey," he said to his ex-wife "we're gonna look back at this night and laugh about it some day."

"GET OUT!"

"Hey guys," a youngish-looking cop said as she walked into the room "you might wanna see this."

"Real housewives of San Diego?" Stef could have pummeled the kid to death.

Lena might lose her job. What kinda idiot would-

 _Smash!  
_ The blonde woman watched the video play out and yelped.

"TORRES!"

* * *

 _The woman in blue took off after the man. The woman in black took her shoe off and threw it at the fleeing suspect._

 _It connected with him – it wasn't clear if it had hit the back of his head, but it could be assumed – and he had sprawled onto the pavement. The woman in blue had caught up with him, read him his Miranda rights and seemed to wait for something._

 _The woman in black had walked up to the pair and picked her shoe up before she had spoken to the other woman. There had been dignified silence...and then..._

" _Is my bike okay?" The man had asked._

" _WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"_

 _The woman in black had launched into a tirade at such an impressive volume that neighbours began to flood out of their homes._

" _That hydrant was right in front of someone's house! What would have happened if your bike hadn't stopped, you irresponsible waste of oxygen?!"_

" _You need to step back, Lena," the woman in blue had told her, and she had done just that._

 _Mike had arrived a few moments later._

* * *

"That lying piece of-"

"LANGUAGE!" Stef and Mike chorused.

Torres shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.

"I seriously think this guy has some kinda disease. No one can be _this stupid_ on purpose."

"Heads up, sarge," someone in uniform hollered from the other end of the hall "the guy's next-of-kin is here."

A smartly-dressed man in his mid-twenties came into view, looking worried.

"I'm here for Evan Markham?"

"You his lawyer?"

"I'm his son."

* * *

" _So I was going up the street to deliver a pizza,"_ the guy said to the camera as the busted fire hydrant erupted in the background _"when I heard this, like, smashing sound. Like...SMASH!"_

"No wonder he didn't want a tip," Mariana rolled her eyes "my God, what a fame-whore."

"Look who's talking," Callie retorted.

"Hey Mom's calling," Brandon said as Jude lowered the volume on the TV "Hi Mom! You're on speaker."

"Everything okay over there?"

"Yeah. Just having some pizza and watching stuff. How about you guys? How's dinner?"

"Oh it's good. Great, actually."

"We've witnessed enough PDA for one day, so don't elaborate," Brandon insisted.

"Amen to that," Jesus piped up from the other side of the room.

* * *

"I still think you should have told them," Mike said as they walked out of the station.

"I'm with Stef on this one," Lena admitted "the less they know, the better we'll all be."

"Prison's really changed you, huh?" Stef snorted.

"I can't believe they're holding my shoe as evidence," Lena complained as they walked to the car.

"Captain Roberts is gonna nail this guy on every wrong thing he did," her wife explained "and apparently he's stinking rich, so...maybe we can take that second honeymoon we've always wanted."

"Milk it for all it's worth, girls," Mike advised them "and thanks for tonight. It's been severely entertaining."

"Wish I could say the same," Stef remarked "goodnight, Mike. Maybe you should stop by the house. See if the kids are behaving themselves."

"I think that's a great idea," Lena agreed.

Mike drove off.

"I'd say my shoes look good on you, Mrs. Adams Foster," the blonde remarked when they were in the car again.

She'd had to raid her locker for her spare set of boots. Good thing she and her wife had the same shoe size.

"You sure you wouldn't have preferred my leather skull-crushers instead?" She joked.

"I like being in heels. Wearing the boots would be too...different...an experience for me."

"Ha. Like being arrested was a familiar one?"

"You know what I meant," her lover sighed "wait..."

Stef had been about to start up the car. She left the key in the ignition and turned to face Lena.

Two freezing hands gripped the sides of her face and pulled her in for a deep kiss.

"Careful there," the policewoman winked when they broke apart "wouldn't wanna get pulled in for public indecency, would we?"

"It's that damn police station," the Vice Principal defended "every time I go there, I wanna mark my territory. And yeah, I know...language."

"That sounds kinky," Stef grinned "maybe that's why we don't have a bring-your-spouse-to-work day."

"Just drive," Lena swatted her arm and buckled up.

"Next stop: the restaurant! Actually...gas station first, then restaurant."

"Good idea. I can't handle any more unpleasant surprises tonight," her wife agreed "oh! And I can get toothbrushes!"

* * *

 **Sorry about the poem. I'm feeling playful with this story. Please review! And yes, they DO get to dine, next.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Thar be food, and mature things.**

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

"My lady," she opened the car door for her wife and helped her out of the vehicle.

"Thank you, my lady," her wife replied as she straightened out her dress.

She knew it was shallow to fuss over whether the shoes matched her outfit or not. It was their night, and she wanted the rest of it to go well.

Besides, she was wearing black. Everything went well with black.

A valet took their car from them. Stef bit back a comment about parking spaces and took her wife's arm.

"Look at us acting so fancy when we're forty-five minutes late."

"Come on, even _you_ have to admit we have good reason to be," Lena laughed as they walked indoors.

"Adams Foster," Stef announced.

"Your table's ready," the man smiled at them "glad you could join us this evening, ladies."

The women traded puzzled looks. It seemed as if their table hadn't been given away, after all.

"Please follow me," someone in a pristine white shirt, black trousers and coat tails instructed them.

He led them to their table for two, pulled out both their chairs and waited for them to settle in. It was obvious that they were married. To each other. The looks they gave one another suggested that their union had been recent, but the amount of familiarity they displayed also suggested that they had been together for a long time.

One of the women carried a purse, and unless the other one had pockets in her dress...classic outdoor behavior.

 _Get married, and keep everything in your wife's purse. ~ Ellen DeGeneres._

They looked at their menus. He left to give them time to decide what they wanted.

"So," Stef remarked as she watched Lena's eyes roving the entries "is prison food as bad as they say it is?"

"I can think of other things a recently-released jail bird would want," Lena replied without looking up "and food is one of them, yes."

"And another?"

"Something that would involve mouths. But very little digestion."

And then she looked up. Their eyes met. Lena's dark lashes came together as she winked. And Stef was breathless.

"Ahem," the blonde cleared her throat and looked at the menu again "I'm starving. What're you having?"

"Something salty, I'd expect. And slightly spicy."

When Lena's monthly cycle hit the ovulation stage, she found herself craving salty, spicy things. And she also found herself a bit short-tempered, but in a sexy, fiesty way.

"Okaaaay, Mama Tiger," Stef smiled involuntarily as she blushed.

"That name's taken, remember?"

One advantage to high heels was that they were easy to remove...if one had enough practice. The woman with the curly mane slipped her borrowed right shoe off and let her foot creep across the empty space between herself and her wife under the table. She had scoped the place out when they were being led to their table. The cloths were long enough to almost reach the floor.

Besides, they were in a booth. And several tables around them were empty.

"Hey, is it me or are there fewer people out tonight?"

"I wouldn't know," Lena shrugged "it's been a while since either of us got to do this."

She sat up slightly as her foot got to its target. Damn those boots.

"What're you-?"

"Take," the woman commanded as she tapped the leather with her bare foot "that. Off."

"I'm wearing socks."

"Which I'll peel off with my toes," Lena informed her.

"Are you marking your territory, Mrs. Adams Foster?"

"Are you ready to order, ladies?"

* * *

" _Extra cheese," Lena had whisper-mouthed, and Stef had repeated aloud into the phone._

" _Got it," said the voice on the other end of the line "we've got a special offer for married couples."_

" _What special offer?" Stef had asked._

" _Buy one get one free," came the reply "it's a pre-Valentine's sale."_

 _Lena had raised her eyebrows in excitement, then nodded._

" _Then it looks like you're bringing me double of what I just ordered."_

" _Congratulations, Ma'am. We'll have your food delivered in fifteen minutes. Thank you for..."_

" _Pre-Valentine's pizza," Stef remarked when she had hung up "does it sound cheesy to you?"_

" _Oh, stop," Lena had replied as she walked out from behind the kitchen counter and kissed her girlfriend on the cheek._

 _The divorce had been finalized. Brandon was with Mike for the weekend. And the women had decided to be together until Monday morning._

" _Is that all I get for ordering the food?" The blonde had pouted._

" _You're technically committing fraud to get us more, so...there."_

 _She had received a quick peck on the neck._

" _It's your address, remember?" Stef had grinned "So you have more to lose."_

" _So what do I get for my trouble?"_

 _They were holding each other close, and looking into each other's eyes._

" _A massage?"_

" _Yeah?"_

" _I've been reading up," the newly-out woman had informed her girlfriend._

" _Ha. And I thought **I** was the academic one."_

* * *

The waiter left. They had deliberately picked different things so that they could sample off each other's plates. And they had foregone appetizers.

"I think that kiss you gave me in the car was appetizing enough, doncha think?" Stef remarked when she was sure the waiter was out of earshot.

"So do I," Lena agreed "and the less time we spend in here, the more time we have in the hotel room."

"We _could_ get everything to go," came the suggestion "but that would be tacky, I suppose."

"And infuriating, after I sacrificed my freedom to get us here," her wife joked back.

"Hey I know I've asked you this before," Stef remarked "but did you know? When you first met me? Did you...know I was gay, I mean."

"I secretly wish every attractive woman I meet is gay," Lena admitted "it's just the way I am. But no...honestly, I didn't. Not until I saw you in uniform."

* * *

" _Did someone dial 911?"_

 _Lena had looked up from the book she was reading at the woman leaning in the doorway._

" _Help me, officer," she had purred "I think someone's set me aflame."_

" _Oh, have they?"_

 _Lena had slid the blanket off her legs and sat up._

" _I think I need your help to cool down."_

" _You should have called the fire department," Stef had laughed._

 _Lena had thrown a pillow at her._

" _Officer down!" The blonde had announced when the pillow struck her in the chest. She fell dramatically to the floor._

 _And then she raised her arm, pressed a button on the remote, and the music started to play._

 _She rose seductively off the floor until she was on her knees, and winked._

* * *

"Did you know I was gay?" Lena asked in turn.

"I just knew you were beautiful," Stef replied "and I was amazed you could be talking to _me_ , of all people."

"I don't exactly have a uniform to prove it, though," her wife laughed as the wine arrived.

* * *

" _I actually prefer the term 'lesbian'," Lena had said to Stef as they walked on the beach for the first time "much more exotic. And much more specific."_

" _Cos 'gay' could mean 'happy', right?"_

 _Something about the statement made both women pause the moment Stef had said it. It had been said so casually, yet carried an air of intense longing._

" _I'm sorry. Didn't mean for it to come out like that," Stef had apologized, and then realized she didn't mean to apologize._

 _Lena had tucked a few wayward strands of hair behind her ear._

" _What're you doing tonight?"_

 _The question had slipped out of her before her brain could register what she had just asked. She wished the breeze could carry it away. And then she'd wished the breeze could bring it back again, shove it into her lungs, and let her ask it later._

" _Actually...Brandon's visiting his grandparents with Mike, so I've got no plans til Monday, I guess."_

" _Let's have dinner," Lena had suggested._

" _After we've had lunch on the same day?" Stef had sounded skeptical._

 _Lena had wished she could run into the ocean and swim until she hit land. She had asked too much of the woman. And she had asked in such a forward way that-_

" _As long as I cook." Stef had replied. "I make a mean boiled water and blackened sauce pan."_

* * *

"This looks delicious!" Lena remarked, before tucking into the food that had been laid before her.

Stef did pretty much the same thing. They had forgotten how hungry they were until they had smelled their orders.

Speaking of smells...

Stef had slipped her boot off under the table. And as promised, Lena had peeled her sock off with her toes. And the policewoman was surprised that the discarded leather footwear hadn't stank.

" _It's so warm,_ " her wife gushed before shoving another forkful of whatever-it-was into her mouth.

"I know you're not talking about the food," the other wife remarked, after swallowing.

Lena's toes hugged Stef's arch. The plus side to wearing boots on that part of the world was that one's feet were never cold. Their dresses may have been long, but the curly-haired woman's feet were freezing, for some reason.

"Easy there," Stef laughed as Lena's toes stroked her foot once more "might make me spill some'a this wine on myself."

"Oh hush," her date laughed "here, try this."

The polite thing to do would be to scrape some of her food onto her bread plate and pass it over. But her mother wasn't there that night, so she could feed her wife directly.

Stef leaned forward slightly and bit down on the fork. Her eyes fluttered and her throat made a noise that made Lena squirm in her seat.

" _Mmmmmmh."_

"Stef!"

"You've been teasing me all night, you know," the blonde laughed when she had chewed and swallowed "time I got some payback."

"Is something wrong?" Stef asked as she looked up at the waiter.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Ma'am...Ma'am," he said with deep humility "but our manager for the night would like to come over. If you don't mind."

Lena's foot stayed where it was. If they were going to be told off for loving each other, she would be unapologetic about showing her affections.

"I bet if we were a _straight_ couple they wouldn't-"

" _Easy_ , Missus, we don't know what's up yet." Stef had reached across the table and stroked her wife's smooth forearm.

A delegation of about three waiters came walking over, with someone right behind them. They stopped at their table, and the more rotund one stepped forth to pronounce something.

"In honor of the first married same-sex couple to dine at our establishment," he baritoned "our manager would like to pay his respects."

"Hit it, boys."

"And a one, and a two, and a three..."

Stef turned bright pink as the waiters sang to them. She and Lena were so surprised at the outcome of the never-to-have-been confrontation that they hadn't noticed the manager, who had stepped forth to sing in the middle of the quartet.

They laughed as the lyrics were delivered, each secretly wondering if the other had planned it. Lena had sipped her wine, seductively winked at her wife, and didn't care.

" _You are in so much trouble, Stef Adams Foster,"_ she had mouthed, before turning to face the singers.

And froze.

Stef did the same thing. Lena's foot withdrew from its perch and she fiddled with her heel to put it back on. The song came to an end, and the rest of the diners applauded.

The Adams Fosters' clapped politely, as the man they had been staring at stepped forth to shake their hands.

"I'm tonight's manager: Evan Markham Junior."

* * *

 **And we're off. Not sure if I can add more chapters this weekend, but I just might. Thanks for reading this far. Please review. And I'll probably be back to edit the previous (and current) chapter(s).**


	6. Chapter 6

**Don't worry. No one gets hurt in this chapter. Lesbian couples on TV tend to go through a lot, though.**

* * *

 **Chapter Six**

"Enjoy the rest of your meal, ladies," the manager had insisted, before he had bowed and left.

The ladies had balled their hands into fists and seemed to wonder if they should leave. They also wondered how the man had got to the police station to bail his father out and managed to make it back to the restaurant.

Lena produced her phone from her purse and typed furiously at the keypad.

"What're you-?"

"Evan Markham," Lena replied "owner of a chain of restaurants, including this one. Has triplet sons: Evan, Devon and Trevor."

"That's why he didn't recognize us," Stef sighed, even though he technically couldn't have made the connection between them and his father even if he had seen them at the station.

"I think we should leave," was the consensus.

Stef made eye contact with the waiter and ordered the check, instead of dessert.

"I hope we haven't displeased you," the waiter looked genuinely saddened.

"Oh no! The food was delicious and your service was excellent. It's just...well...a school night," Lena insisted.

"Indeed it is," he agreed "I'll be right back."

Stef finished the wine left in her glass.

"What? We're paying for it anyway."

"Good point," her wife sighed, as she poured what was left of the bottle into both their glasses.

"To an interesting series of events," Stef had toasted.

"And fewer more to come, I hope."

"Excuse me."

They almost choked on their wine as they saw who was approaching the table.

The twin brothers looked slightly upset. One of them had his hands in his suit jacket pocket. Stef sized him up, cast a quick glance at Lena, and stood up to block them before they could get too close.

"Please sit down, Ma'am," one of them requested.

"Not until you tell me what you intend to do," the policewoman insisted as she squared her shoulders.

The man pulled his hand out of his jacket and Stef dove forward to grab his arm. The phone had a video queued up.

"This is a clip from the Real Housewives of San Diego," the other man explained "please watch it."

They did. Lena groaned.

"Will you please sit down now?"

Stef complied. She still had her eye on the closest twin, and the other one seemed to understand that she wouldn't let any of them near her wife. He stood as close to Stef as his brother did.

"This is Trevor," Evan introduced "and we're really sorry for our father's behavior."

"So...who went to bail him out at the station?"

"Devon did. But we asked him not to pay."

The women raised their eyebrows in surprise.

"Evan Markham senior deserves to spend a night in jail for what he did tonight. I dunno who he's going to call to bail him out, but we're done with him."

"He's your father."

"And we hope we're not as messed up as he is when we're his age."

"So it's a mid-life crisis?" Lena asked.

"Yeah it is," Trevor admitted "coupled with over forty years of being a spoiled brat. Devon told us he tried to sue you ladies. I hope you're suing him back."

"And I also hope you haven't paid for your meal yet. It's on us."

"Much as we'd appreciate that," Stef cleared her throat before she continued "it's unethical for us to accept. We haven't decided if we're going to sue your father yet. And to be honest we wouldn't have come here if we knew he owned this place. You paying for our meal seems like you're trying to influence our decision."

Lena could have kissed her on the spot.

"We pay our own way, sirs," the blonde concluded.

"You guys have had quite the night," Trevor nodded as Evan let the waiter place the check on the table "I hope we meet again, under better circumstances."

"As do I," Lena agreed.

"Oh look: another video's been put up," Evan remarked as he showed it to his brother.

" _I know the women in the video,"_ a familiar voice spoke as its owner glared at the camera with a slightly-suppressed grin on their face _"but you're gonna have to pay up if you want their address. I'm their manager, Mariana Adams Foster."_

* * *

Only the other Mrs. Adams Foster could keep Stef away from a phone while they paid their bill and left. Lena knew how to handle her wife when she was that enraged: by playing the gorgeous matador to a charging bull in a blue dress.

"Come on!"

"A few more steps, Stefanie,"

"Urrrrrgh! LENA!"

"Could you wait for about five more minutes?" The aforementioned woman asked the valet, who nodded and stepped away to leave both women alone outside.

"Now gimme the phone!"

"Stef." The woman in black held the other woman's shoulders. She looked straight into her eyes.

Something about the feel of her wife's cool hands against her angered skin made the blonde calm down.

"Lena..."

"This is OUR NIGHT," came the steady reply "none of the insanity that's happened since sunset can't be sorted out in the morning."

"But Mariana-"

"Will regret it when she realizes just how much trouble she's in," the other woman interrupted "and someone in that house will have talked her out of...whatever it is she's doing...by the time we show up tomorrow."

"So what're you saying?"

"I'm saying we should let the kids get used to our not being around on certain nights of the week. I'm saying you need to stop being so hard on yourself. I'm saying that nothing that's happened has been your fault. And I'm saying kiss me."

Stef grinned. "Where?"

"Just my lips, for now."

The blonde placed her hands on her wife's face and pulled her close. Their lips met in the cool night breeze and their tongues stroked each other as if they were trying to light a fire. They eventually pulled apart.

"How does your lipstick stay on your face like that?"

Lena laughed. "I think it's going to be the only thing I'm wearing once we're in the hotel room. I dare you to try and take it off."

The car arrived, and they tipped the valet before Stef drove them off.

* * *

 **I'm not quite sure what to put in the next chapter. Possibly the hotel. And no, there's no more drama for these two. Not on Their Night. Also, thinking up the next story. Already thought it up, actually. Planning it out, more like.**


	7. Chapter 7

**May (definitely does, who am I kidding) contain smut. Never written sex scenes before, so...gulp.**

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

"It's on the sixth floor," Stef pronounced, as Lena bent over to do something. "Are you twerking?"

"I'm taking my shoes off, you naughty girl."

The floor was carpeted. And Lena was in a hurry.

"You planning on running up the steps, Mi'lady?"

"Only if the elevator's too slow," the Vice Principal said as she took her wife's hand and led her there.

The hotel lobby was slightly crowded, so no one noticed the women hurrying away. A crowded lobby also meant a crowded elevator, though.

" _Dammit,"_ Lena muttered under her breath as three more people joined them in the confined space.

" _What were you planning to do in here, anyway?"_ Stef whisper-asked.

" _Give the people monitoring those cameras a show, I suppose,"_ came the reply.

The Adams Fosters stood with their backs against the far wall of the elevator. Lena was literally in the corner. The ride seemed to take forever.

She raised the hand that held her wife's and brushed it against her exposed calf. Stef's fingers, which were entwined with hers, touched smooth brown skin and caused some kind of ripple to flow between both excited yet inhibited women.

Good thing the party of three in there with them were so loud.

" _Lena..."_ Stef whispered.

"Yes?" The curly-haired woman asked with feigned innocence as she raised her leg and pretended to look into her purse.

The fingers had loosened up, and the blonde's hand traveled up the outside of the exposed thigh.

"Do you bring the overnight supplies?" Lena asked her.

Stef had a small paper bag in her other hand, which she wished she could discard and put her second set of fingers to better use.

"Could you BELIEVE that guy?" One of the guys laughed. He was clearly tipsy enough to forget to keep his voice at a dignified volume.

"What kinda idiot lets his bike go down a street and then runs after it once it's crashed into a fire hydrant?"

"Oh _god_ ," both women grimaced.

Stef turned to whisper in her wife's ear.

" _How about I make you say that again...in a more interesting tone of voice."_

" _That's my line. If we EVER get there,"_ came the whispered-back reply.

"Why're we stopping on the sixth floor?" One of the trio complained when the doors dinged open.

The Adams Fosters pushed their way off the elevator, and the trio seemed to gasp when they realized whose backs they were looking at.

"Hey wait!" One of them shouted as he tried to push the doors apart.

The lift decided to ignore his request and rose to the next floor.

Stef and Lena had their eyes trained on opposite sides of the hallway as they tried to find their room.

601/615...602/614...

"Are you kidding me?" Lena laughed when they finally stopped at their door for the night.

"You didn't notice?" Stef asked as she pushed it open and lifted her off her feet for the second time that day.

Lena raised her arm and slammed the door shut behind them. And then she kissed her wife. It was a deep, possessive kiss that made her bearer stop walking towards the bed – wherever that was – and battle for repossession of her tongue.

" _Mmmfffff."_

Lena broke from the kiss to bite her ear. _"Take your boots off."_

"My hands are kinda full right now."

Lena growled and hopped off her human swing before she threw her purse onto a side table and sat on the bed.

Stef seemed to dive across the floor in her unclothed feet and would have pounced on her if she didn't roll away. The woman in blue landed face-first on the soft, springy mattress.

"Hey!"

"Keep still," Lena growled as she pulled the zipper on the back of the prostrate woman's dress down.

"Very clever."

Stef's creamy back was athletic yet soft to the touch. Lena caressed it from the top of the spine to its hollow.

"Oh no you don't."

The other woman rolled over and pinned the woman in black to the bed. Their lips met once more as she lay on top of her, and the black skirts rose as Lena wrapped her legs around Stef's waist.

One of them moaned as the other stroked her sides. It was almost as if they took turns doing it: so entwined was the couple that it felt as if every action was mutually felt.

Something was thrown away from the bed, and Lena realized that it was her bra.

"How do you DO that?" She laughed as she realized her dress' shoulder had been rolled down to her waist.

Stef's fingers pinched her dark brown nipples, and instead of replying to her wife's question she licked her collarbone.

Lena's hands wandered up to her wife's imprisoned mane and let her hair down.

" _Those might get in the way,"_ the woman in blue whispered.

" _They never have before. And I think my hands will take care of them while your tongue is...otherwise occupied."_

Lena had gasped the last two words as Stef's lips descended to meet her breast.

" _Ah!"_ She gasped as the soft tongue licked around the base of her nipple, before she added "I don't think they can get any harder than they are now, Stef."

Her wife laughed and took the dark peak into her mouth as her fingers decided to play with the other one. She suddenly stopped.

"But they're so fun to play with."

"Then why did you stop?"

Stef sat up and pulled her own dress down. She got to her feet and finished taking it off, before she tossed it aside.

"I could have helped with that, you know."

"Do yours," came the command.

Lena didn't have to sit up to take hers off. She wriggled and pulled at the fabric until she tossed the clothing aside. And then she burned at the sight of her wife drooling.

"See something you like?"

* * *

" _We can stop if you'd like," Lena had assured her._

" _It feels so good," the newly-out woman had moaned._

 _She was on her back in Lena's bed at the old apartment. The only thing she wore was her hands, which she had dropped to cover her core._

 _Lena had been blindfolded. Her girlfriend was much too shy to let her see her. She was quickly losing that shyness the more the experienced lesbian did things to her._

 _And Lena looked even more breathtaking when she was naked._

 _Stef took her hands off her crotch and sat up._

" _The robe's on the side of the bed," Lena had said "you could put it on and I'll take the blindfold off when you're okay with-"_

 _Stef had silenced her with a kiss and slipped the blindfold off. "Look at me."_

* * *

Lena watched as her wife unclipped her bra and dropped it to the floor. Her nipples were so pink and delicate. And they were pointing right at her lips.

" _Come here."_

Her wife did just that, and kissed her longingly as her hands stroked her sides. Lena moaned as she encouraged her wife to descend.

" _Play with those later,"_ she snapped impatiently as she arched her back.

There was always something special about sliding her lover's underwear off. Especially when the business end of that same underwear was silk, and soaking wet.

Stef placed Lena's hand over her lover's exposed sex and shook her head when she started to rub her clit.

"Not yet."

"Then why's my hand there?"

The blonde smiled and kissed her wife's inner thigh. And then she licked it, as her other hand stroked the other inner thigh, and listened to her wife's impatient moans.

"Don't move your hand," Mama Tiger growled, and her Tigress writhed but obeyed.

Her lips moved upwards until she found one particular sensitive spot. And then she attacked it with her teeth, giving her soaking lover a most private hickey. Lena's hand moved away and she seized the side of Stef's hand to pull her up to her core.

"Don't mind if I do," the woman in lacy red underwear pronounced.

Lena was wet enough to make Stef's tongue feel dry in comparison.

* * *

" _Oh GOD Lena!" Stef had moaned as her hands gripped the woman's hair._

" _It's like this is your first time," Lena had thought to herself as her tongue went round in circles "you poor thing. Get used to it."_

" _Right there!"_

 _Lena would have deliberately stayed away from the spot to make her beg, but that would have to wait. This was pleasure...games would come later._

 _And speaking of coming..._

" _Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!"_

* * *

"Wow," Stef licked her lips as her wife shuddered "I didn't even have to..."

"Shut up and kiss me."

She did.

"On THESE lips, silly."

They kissed, gently at first and then more passionately.

"Wait," Lena stopped, to let Stef catch her breath "we need ice."

"What for?"

The curly-haired woman pushed her spouse until she fell flat on her back. She rose over the partially-clothed woman and reached for the phone.

"Can I have an ice bucket in room 609? No, no champagne. Just ice."

"Whatever do you have planned for me, Mrs. Adams Foster?"

"Whatever it is, we're not getting much sleep tonight."

* * *

 **Methinks this story should end here. Thanks for reading this far. Please review. Meanwhile, next week: another Gaydy bunch thingy. It'll be highly experimental. I'll use that tale to practice my drama skills.**

 **All Fosters characters, Real Housewives of San Diego references and Ellen DeGeneres quotes belong to their respective owners. Room 609 isn't real, but hey, knock yourself out if you find it.**


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